Adventures of Super Peen and Wonder Cooch
by SheshaLesha
Summary: A seriously silly, smutterific series of Q&A staring Super Peen and Wonder Cooch.  And do you even need to ask...rated M, SP belongs to E and WC belongs to B...do not think Stephanie had this in mind when she wrote her story...
1. Needy

**So...I have an idea for a really silly story? Not sure if story is the right thing to call it...more like a column...a helpful, funny, smutty, column...**

**Wont you join me for Adventures of Super Peen and Wonder Coochie...**

**SM owns Edward and Bella...but I own SP and WC...**

**Enjoy...**

_Dear Super Peen and Wonder Coochie,_

_My husband often works long hours during the week, leaving him tired and irritable when he finally makes it home. I often let him relax in front of the TV and go to bed feeling needy and unsatisfied. I would like to ask for sex, but I feel guilty because I know he is tired and has worked hard all day. How do you suggest I make us both happy? _

_Sincerely,_

_Needy_

Dear Needy,

This is Super Peen here to answer all your prayers.

First let me say...NO MAN is too tired for sex. Your poor husband is irritable because he ain't getting none and you leave him to watch TV every night.

Second MEN love when their women take what they want...we cant read your minds. I know I sure as hell can't figure out Wonder Cooch to save my life. One minute she is talking about blow jobs and the next she is asking if we have peanut butter. I ask you does she want the peanut butter for my fuck awesome peen or is she making a grocery list. You are all too hard to guess, so we like when you just say what you want.

So here is what you do...

Strip down to nothing, grab your man's dress shirt and only button a few in the middle. Kneel down in front of your husband while he is watching TV and ignore everything he says while you free his peen from his pants. Make lots of ooohs and aaahs...we like to have our egos stroked while your strokin our shit. Give a couple of sweet little licks and then suck the whole thing in your mouth as far as it goes. By this point the TV will be forgotten about and your husbands hand will be grabbing your hair, not the remote. Get your man all worked up and to the point of begging for release, then stop.

Shimmy your fine ass into his lap and ride that cowboy like you are at a rodeo.

I promise if you follow my instructions you will never be needy again.

**Peen Out...**

Damn now where is Wonder Cooch cuz I need some bucking rodeo action now...

**A/N**

**So what do you think? This will be a smutterific series of Q and A...**

**I have no idea how often I will update this...I guess as questions arise...If you have a question please let me know...I want as many as you got and I will do my best to have SP and WC give their advice...**

**THANKS!**


	2. Moaning Momma

**Adventures of Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**

**Sadly I own nothing to do with Twilight, but I do own Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**

**Enjoy...**

_Dear Super Peen and Wonder Cooch, _

_HELP! I am too loud during sex and my children keep asking "Mommy why were you making all that noise last night?" My daughter has even given me a play by play of what noises she heard. I dont know what to do..._

_Sincerely,_

_Moaning Momma_

Dear Moaning Momma,

Sugar, I know just what you are upset about. Most nights Super Peen has me moaning so loud I am afraid the neighbors are going to call the police. If I am not being loud then I am squirming all over the bed...I actually feel off last night. Not the most graceful cooch of all.

But anyway, I digress, on to solve your noise barrier issues.

I have a few options for you...

1st. You could always invest in a ball gag, they muffle screeching noises quite well. I happen to have the cutest hot pink one...not to big to hurt my jaw, it is just the right fit.

2nd. You could hire a company to come and soundproof your walls...that can be costly...is your peen a handy peen or are his finger too pretty for manual labor. My Super Peen has no idea what to do with a hammer...but his finger do magical things to the Wonder Cooch...they are long and strong and ….ooooh...

Super Peen here...

Babe, there is nothing sexier than my Wonder Cooch moaning...Just own your moans and play the radio real loud. Tell the kids you were watching a movie.

Oh, and other things to fill your mouth with; his balls, peen or pecs...even his fingers. Just remember only bite the pillow or his pecs.

Okay we have to sign off now, Wonder Cooch is dripping honey thinking about all the things to fill her mouth with, mmmmmmmm, YEAH...we gotta go

XOXO

Wonder Cooch and Super Peen

**A/N**

**Thank you all sooooo much for the reviews and encouragement. It means a lot. **

**I want to thank all my lovely h00rs from the PervyH00rBrigade...spankins for all of you...**

**Reviews are better than Super Peens magical fingers**


	3. Sparkless

**Adventures of Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**

**Sadly I own nothing to do with Twilight, but I do own Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**

**Enjoy...**

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_Dear Super Peen and Wonder Cooch,_

_I have been married for 5 years now, my husband is wonderful, but sex is starting to get boring. What can I do to reignite the sparks? How do you all keep the flame burning?_

_Hope to hear from You soon,_

_Sparkless_

_.._

_.._

_.._

Dear Sparkless,

Don't you worry about a thing sweetheart. All relationships go through an ebb and flow of excitement. Now, I thankfully my husband seems to be ready to go 24 hours a day. Super Peen is an insatiable horny teenager some days. But, with that, there are only soo many ways to insert P into slot C, sometimes A, and always M.

Have you tried sex in public? It can be very exciting. Just the other day, Super Peen and I were out looking at new coffee tables. Ours just couldn't hold up to the constant pounding. Anyway, there we were in an empty furniture store, and I bent over this beautiful teak table. Apparently, my skirt raised up and I was waving at Super Peen. He just couldn't walk away from the temptation. Next thing I know, he is sliding in and I am singing Hallelujah...

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Hey, Super Peen here,

Sorry about Wonder Cooch's disappearance, she gets soo easily distracted.

Yeah, so anyway...Don't ever wear panties. They are a waste of fabric and they just take up time. Wear the shortest skirts you own and _always_ bend over at the waist. Your husband will be sliding into heaven every chance you give him.

I mean seriously, how could he not. I see Wonder Cooch all wet and waiting, I couldn't tell you the alphabet, my brain just says 'must fuck...must pound...must fuck...must pound'.

The door bell is ringing. Better be that damn coffee table.

Peen Out

**A/N**

**Thank you all sooooo much for the reviews and encouragement. It means a lot. **

**I want to thank all my lovely h00rs from the twitter...sloppy kisses for all of you...**

**If you have queastions for Super Peen and Wonder Cooch you can email me sheshalesha gmail (.) com, I am also on twitter PrettyPeens**

**Reviews are better than no panties...**


	4. Curious about the South

**Adventures of Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**

**Sadly I own nothing to do with Twilight, but I do own Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**

**Enjoy...**

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_Dear Super Peen and Wonder Cooch,_

_My friend sent me a dirty text and it has me curious. I have never ventured south while pleasuring my husband with mouth or hand, but have heard that it is a great treat. My husband has never request that I venture south. He has never mentioned going south on me. I want to keep him happy and our sex life thriving. Should I go south for a mini exploration?_

_Thank you for a prompt response,_

_Curious about the South_

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Dear Curious about the South,

I could get highly technical with you and discuss the prostate, but lets get real...I am a horny ass Super Peen. Just thinking about Wonder Cooch sticking her finger in my ass has me hard as a steel rod...a mighty long and thick steel rod, I might add.

Okay so, what ya want to do to make your man happy as a lark is this...

While sucking his steel rod, fondle his balls. After a few minutes of that, take those pretty little fingers of yours and gently press against his anus. If he is receptive to this, then very gentle, and I do mean gentle, slide one finger in and just kinda wiggle it around. Be prepared to swallow!

Let me know how that works for ya,

Peen Out

**A/N**

**This was a request by one of my FAVORITE twitter h00rs! Luv Ya BB!**

**Next Time we will have Curious about the South wanting return action...**

**I am blown away at the amount of alerts and reviews I have gotten for this smutterific series...It is all in fun and I am soooo thankful. Please feel free to send pic prompts, questions, request, and comments. They make me happy!**

**sheshalesha (at) gmail (.) com, I am also on twitter PrettyPeens **


	5. Ray from Down Under

**Adventures of Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**

**Sadly I own nothing to do with Twilight, but I do own Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**

**Enjoy...**

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_Dear Super Peen and Wonder Cooch_

_My wife, who I love dearly, is 8 months pregnant. She is the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen, and I love having sex with her, but for the last couple of months I just can't keep up. All the books say that it is her hormones. I know that I should just be grateful and take it while I can get it...but damn she wants it every morning, noon, and night. As our little angel grows and the due date approaches, I am starting to get scared of hurting them, but my wife yell's 'harder HARDER'._

_How should I handle the next few weeks?_

_Desperate for advice,_

_Ray from Down Under_

.•**•. SP and WC .•**•.

Dear Ray from Down Under,

Ohhhhh, You sweet man. Yes, we cooches get a little over eager during pregnancy. We are building our reserves for our long recovery time. ANNND...if you even suggest a blow job during that first month, I give Mrs. Ray full permission to cut your peen off.

Super Peen will have to talk to you about stamina because I am not sure what his tricks are, but he is ready to go 24 hours 7 days a week...mmmmm...

Okay, sorry...Let's see...The best position for you not to hurt your little angel and for Mrs. Ray to be comfortable would be; the two of you on your side, entering from behind. If your darling wife is anything like me and she wants the full effect of your peen, then good old fashion doggy style should do the trick. Prop some pillows up under her so she can lay on her chest, if she so wishes. Also while you are behind her, have her stand up on her knees...that is always my favorite, Super Peen plays with my nipples and nibbles on my shoulder...

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Hey Super Peen here...

I cant talk long...Wonder Cooch ran up the stairs throwing her clothes off...

Dude...take your vitamins, drink lots of fluids, sleep when she'll let you...Just endure the horrible torture that your wife puts you through.

Be a good Peen after the angel get there, she's gonna need you to think with your other head once in awhile.

Promise the sex will come back...just give it time and be all romantic like...the Cooches like that shit.

Good Luck,

Peen Out

Okay... Wonder Cooch...I am coming!

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**A/N**

**Thank you all sooooo much for the reviews and encouragement. It means a lot. **

**I want to thank all my lovely h00rs from the twitter...sloppy kisses for all of you...**

**If you have queastions for Super Peen and Wonder Cooch you can email me sheshalesha gmail (.) com, I am also on twitter PrettyPeens**


	6. Granny Panties

_**Adventures of Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**_

**Sadly I own nothing to do with Twilight, but I do own Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**

**Enjoy...**

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_Dear Super Peen and Wonder Cooch,_

_I have been stuck in a rut. I no longer wear teenie-tiny scraps of fabric to bed and my panties aren't panties anymore...they are underwear. Over the years, I have lost that sexy mystique and I fear that my husband doesn't find me as appealing as he once did. After twelve years of marriage, I can't complain about our sex life, but I feel like my spark is a flicker rather than a full on flame._

_What should I do? I can't see myself wearing scraps of silk to bed when we have young children, but I want to get out of my house wife rut. How can I look and feel sexy and seductive again._

_Please help._

_Yours Truly,_

_Mommy trapped in Granny Panties_

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Dear Granny Panties Mommy,

Have no fear! I have a solution for you! Although I am not permitted to own panties, I still look at all the styles available. Cheekys are your answer! They are super cute and look very comfortable. Your cute little ass cheeks peeking out the bottom give just enough skin to entice, while still feeling covered. As for your sleep attire...hmmmmm...I do not wear anything to bed. Super Peen prefers easy access at a moments notice. I can't tell you how often I wake up to him already playing away. Just this morning, I was dreaming of laying on a beach all wet from the waves rocking into me, I opened my eyes and found that it was actually Super Peen making me wet and giving me a mighty fine pounding...He really is insatiable, but we do not have children, so sleeping naked is not an issue for us...let me think...

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Hey, It's Peen Here,

Wonder Cooch went to go explore her closet for sexy pajamas. She owns none so I will be surprised what she comes back with...

Okay, on to you my love. First and foremost, sleep naked as often as possible. Second, wear his clothes. We are strange creatures I know, but there is NOTHING sexier than our woman in our clothes. Third, pair the cheeky panties with a white tank top. Pinch your nipples a little before you walk up to him to get in bed and I promise you wont go to sleep for a few hours. And finally, cotton gym shorts with a t-shirt. Think _Kelly LeBrock_ from Weird Science, we all wacked it to pictures of her. Make sure the shorts are super short and the t-shirt is tight. Wear nothing under for easiest and quickest access, your husband wants to be able to rub up against up all night. You could play up the gym out fit with some pigtails too.

Hope you have a sleepless night.

Peen Out

_Ahhhh, Wonder Cooch...you couldn't find any pajamas, so now you are traipsing around naked? We are never going to leave the house now. I just might have to go buy you some gym shorts._

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**A/N**

**Thank you all sooooo much for the reviews and encouragement. It means a lot. **

**I want to thank all my lovely h00rs from the twitter...sloppy kisses for all of you...**

**If you have questions for Super Peen and Wonder Cooch you can email me sheshalesha at gmail (.) com, I am also on twitter PrettyPeens**


	7. Dominatrix Failure

_**Adventures of Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**_

**Sadly I own nothing to do with Twilight, but I do own Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**

**Enjoy...**

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_Dear Super Peen and Wonder Cooch,_

_HELP! My husband of 12 years just confessed a secret fantasy...He wants to be SPANKED! I have trouble whooping my kiddos when they misbehave, how am I to spank him? I have a muffin top! Vinyl does not conceal muffin tops! I don't want to gag, tie up, and whip my husband. Help me! What do I do?_

_Sincerely,_

_Dominatrix FAILURE_

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Dear Dominatrix Failure,

Have no fear! A spanking here and there does not make you a dominatrix. All your husband has asked for is a simple spanking, nothing about gags and ropes. Yes, I agree vinyl is not meant for every body, however there are some really cute skirts and bustiers in the Frederick's of Hollywood catalog. Occasionally when Super Peen and I are feeling friskie one of us pulls out a flogger or two. It really just depends on our moods at the time. I revel in the shades of red and pitch of his moan while I am wielding my favorite leather riding crop.

I am not sure what the psychological reasoning behind enjoying a spanking or two is; but I do know...for me, it is the rush of adrenaline, the giving up of power, and the pure erotic-ness of the 'taboo' act.

One day when you are in a naughty mood and have some pent up sexual frustrations, push your husband stomach down to the bed, and start out quick but soft. You will be able to gauge his pain threshold by the way he flinches when you struck him. I'd say start with 10 swats and work your way up. Soon you will have your favorite whip and know just how to wield it.

Much Love,

Wonder Cooch

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p.s...Super Peen is tied up and gagged at the moment I am sure he would tell you to go out and get a leather riding crop. Those are his favorite.

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**A/N**

**Thank you all sooooo much for the reviews and encouragement. It means a lot. **


	8. Prude No More

_**Adventures of Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**_

**Sadly I own nothing to do with Twilight, but I do own Super Peen and Wonder Cooch**

**Enjoy...**

_Dear Super Peen and Wonder Cooch,_

_Hi. I am a Catholic girl. Graduated from an all girls Catholic private school. I am a good girl...best friends call me a prude, hell even ex-husband called me a prude. I will admit that I once was a little prudish. However that is far from the truth these days. In the two years that I have been divorced, I have learned a great many things while dating. _

_I am a little embarrassed that I am even writing this letter. But, I might as well get to the nitty gritty. I was very lightly choked last night. My 'friend' and I were in the throws of some of the dirtiest sex I have ever had and while behind me, he reached up and applied pressure to my neck. It didn't hurt, but it sent off bells and although those bells were firing, I had one of the best organisms ever. _

_Is something the matter with me? I shouldn't like or want to be choked...right? _

_Sincerely,_

_Prude No More _

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Dear Prude No More,

I understand your questioning. While you have been raised to believe and think one way, your body is telling you something else. If this helps you process this new information, scientifically the lower supply of oxygen to the brain enhances your sexual sensations, which makes it easier to orgasm.

From a "releasing of control" aspect, did you trust this 'friend'? You must have, because to be in that position requires a level of trust and understanding. I do not recommend letting just any 'friend' have that control, but if you are comfortable and trusting of your 'friend' then by all means it is a sensation that is not easily achievable outside of the bedroom.

Be safe,

Wonder Cooch

Okay...I gotta say kudos to fucking you! I am very proud that you are exploring your sexual desires and reteaching yourself what is acceptable in a mature responsible relationship.

There are times that the Cooch has grabbed my throat. It is fuck hawt awesome. I get this huge adrenaline rush, my cock grows 10x bigger, and cum all over the place.

I am very interested to hear what other new experiences you have learned. Do you like being spanked? What about dirty talk? You must write us again.

Carry on with your fucking! You are doing anything wrong...

Peen Out

**A/N**

**Any type of Asphyxiation Play is not something I would recommend experiencing without having a very clear understanding with your partner. **

**If you have any questions or comments PLEASE let me know...I am on twitter SheshaLesha.**

**Thank You all very much for the reviews I have received. They make my heart sing. You are all the best! **

My sweet dear Ms. M...I love you more than life it's self and am grateful for all the new material...You know that I am living vicariously through your adventures...heheheheee...it's a damn good thing you have NOTHING to do with the fandom...or else you would skin me alive...

If


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